2013 was one of the fastest year of my life. It went with the speed of light I guess and a lot of things it has given me silently. There are many positive changes that happened this year in every phase of my life. The same time last year, I had taken a resolution of reading 52 books in 2013 and I am happy to share that I have completed 58 and I am half way on to my 59th. Yes, I am joyful about this because earlier I use to read just 2 or 3 every year and I am very happy that I have finally developed the habit of reading daily. One more thing in this I am happy about that I have found a new interest in fiction books which I used to ignore. This is about just one resolution in my 5 grand resolutions. I have also developed habits of writing my expenses daily, fully expressing my emotions which I was very bad at and some more personal things. Over all dear 2013, you were really good. I am glad you were like this. And before you go, I want to thank you for being like that. But now, it is time to move ahead. It is time to prepare for another war and live like a warrior. I am in a constant thought process from last few days about how I want to lead my life in next year. After a lot of thoughts, I have not been able to work on the resolutions but I have decided on the motto that I am going to live by next year. It is to be better in every single thing I am doing daily, so the motto is ‘Being Better.’ You can see that I have changed the title of this blog too as one of the resolution I am scared to admit that I have thought to live by is to write my blog frequently. Writing has always scared me but I guess I need to conquer that fear this year. I recently read a quote on writing “Writing is thinking clearly, that’s why it’s hard.” It struck a chord with me. I don’t know about writing but I want to think clearly in my life. So in order to do that I need to write daily. I want to be so clear in my thought process that I can pick my thoughts on my own pace. Hope I am not sounding too aggressive. To tell you the truth, I am scared that I am sharing this with you. Because deep inside it is always a question mark whether I can do it or not. Right now, I am in a fearless mode, so whatever I am writing today seems possible to me at this time and I want to carry this feeling all throughout next year. After all, it is all about ‘Being Better.’
Last night was one of the scariest night I had in the longest time. All because of the scariest creature that came into my room, a bat. I have never seen a bat before but heard all the bad things about it. It is one of the most hated creature I know.
It came at the time when I was about to sleep. It was flying just above almirah. As soon as I heard the heavy sound of its wings, I ran away outside like a kid. I was scared like shit and horrified about the whole situation. After standing there and watching the room, I thought of putting the lights on of the room. I took the tiniest steps of my life and then reached to the button inside and put it on and ran to the last spot I was on with the speed of light, may be more than the speed of light. After like 10 mins, I saw something flying from the entrance of the room. I was unsure whether it was the bat or it was something else. There seemed to be 2 to 3 bats there. I thought it was the same bat and got inside. Actually, I just lied to myself and made me think that it has flown outside. Which could be a possibility.
As I got inside, I talked on the phone for a bit, watched some scenes of the movie. After like half an hour I heard a sound from the back, I turned and bloody hell it was flying. I was petrified. I quickly got into the senses and ran again outside. It was pretty funny yet hell scary. I stood there for 15 mins. The time was around 12:30 now, my head was heavy and my eyes was feeling the weight of sleep. A mix that is so bad. The situation was about to get worse. I saw the bat coming from the room. But this time too I was unsure whether it really came out of the room. The only thing which was good this time was the height it was flying, was lower. It really seemed that it came from the room. I waited for another 15 mins there just to be 100% sure and then I thought it is better to go inside and sleep, rather than taking the bed out in open which I was giving the thought standing there. I went inside.
I was more scary this time that I was watching every single thing there, the floor, table, clothes on the chair, clothes on the bag(Gosh! I need to take care of this so many cloths), curtains & windows. I decided to sleep by putting the bed sheet on myself. I know it is funny but hello I had no option. I did not want this thing to stick on me and suck all of my blood.
Thank god, there was no sign of it afterwards, I slept.
- They are not aggressive creature.
- They hate to be inside.
- They eat insects, the insects which a human eye can’t even see.
- They move near humans because they eat some organisms that revolve around us.
- They bite only if we handle them with cruelty.
- There are many types of bats and mostly of them are not as bad as we perceive.
- If get bitten by bat, rabies can spread in the body which is a very deadly disease if not treated well.
Since the day I started working in 2008, my personal motive was to get my parents a beautiful home. Last year, I bought a plot from my own income and that day I tasted the feeling of happiness in a very unique way. Since the day I got the plot, my dream is to start building the beautiful home I envision everyday. Watching a blank plot and just visualising a home on it has been a great source of happiness for me from quite a some time. Last saturday, I was talking to a friend and she said why don’t you write about how you actually want to make your home? I happily agreed because these days the only thing that gives me eternal happiness is writing.
So I got on the bed, put the laptop on my lap and tried to start writing. Visualising a home and then try to put your vision on to a paper is one heck of a thing, in fact watching an empty plot is same as watching a blank paper. You struggle to paint it with your vision. But let me try today and share the things I want to have in my home. And may be, this could make you feel or remember about your own home.
So these are the things I want to have in my abode with my special adobe of thoughts.
Living Room With Life– I want a big living room with a big library as I am a great fan of books and there is nothing more beautiful than the smell of your favourite book. However, this kindle application I have in my laptop now may kill this thing but I should protect my dream from this technological things. One thing I don’t want to have in my living room is TV because it is living room and TV makes you dead not alive. Another thing, I don’t want to have in my living room is a lot of furniture, in fact I would love to fill it with a lot of flower pots. The less furniture you have, healthier lifestyle you would have and more energetic you will be.
Bedroom a Deadroom– I believe bedrooms should only be used when you are heck of tired and all you want to is sleep or to catch on some TV. Yes, finally there will be a TV in my home. Bedrooms should be filled with luxuries. I would spend heck of money on a good bed with the best of mattresses and with best of cushions. One should feel like a king when you sleep. After all, there is nothing better than a good night sleep after a long hectic day. Also, I believe bedrooms are good for making conversations with family at night as everybody relaxes and then they talk nicely. The only condition here should be the TV has to be switched off.
Kitchen King– I feel the biggest place after your living room should be your kitchen. Less space you have in there, more bad food you may have in your plate. Kitchen is also one place which should have all the luxuries. More we spend here, more our guests will appreciate us.
My whole idea of writing of this post was to just envision the house I want to be in. If I have an unfulfilled dream right now, why shouldn’t I live it by just writing. Writing, the most pure form of communication. I really wish I could get to live in a place like this as soon as possible. Amen!
What do you think of it? It it OK or do you have any suggestion.
I am here with one more excuse to let you know about my invisibility from this blog. I am lazy and I yawn a lot when I try to do productive thing for my blog. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to write. I want to and I really want to. But I am one of those who believe in the perfect setting when you try to write. You know, with fresh mind, just after the bath or when you feel super energetic. Sadly, that doesn’t happen with me.
One night I was thinking(I do that every night), why am I not doing the things I want to? And there was a voice in my head(No, I am not schizophrenic). Sunny, get away from all the DISTRACTIONS. Distractions? Oh my god! Yes Distractions. FUCKING DISTRACTIONS! Let me introduce to my distractions. And yes, looking at my post frequency on this blog, you can sense that there are many:
- Mind wandering Don’t laugh, but yes its a distraction in itself. I mean it should be smart to know that I just want to write or do some X work (X is not porn here).And when I make my mind like yes, now I am going to write. Fucking hell, it doesn’t do that . In fact it takes me to some frickin things and then it gets dragged, dragged and dragged. After a point I become no longer interested in doing what I wanted to do. My brat mind!
- Fucking Facebook– I know it is your distraction too. It is my big time. Status updates are no big deal for me but bloody fb chats are the hugest distractions. These so called friends will never call but waste my time with their stupid stories and stupid emoticons. Oh world, please get over this. Though I know you can’t. It is just out of our reach. Isn’t it?
- Rascal Routine This is really scary distraction. If you want to do anything other than your routine thing, then your routine gets in the way. Phew! Dear routine, why aren’t you flexible? I know you can’t be. Otherwise why would somebody call you routine. Ha!
- Mad Mood- I can’t tell how big this is. You know there are some days when you decide, oh I’ll try to learn this song on Friday or I’ll start working on finances this Monday. Then there are these days and you have no mood to do them.
- Perfectionism Problem– What if anyone reads my blog and starts making fun of me? Oh! This post was so lame. This doesn’t look too good. This perfectionism kind of thing distracts heck of me.
- Loo/water– Whenever I try to concentrate on any topic, suddenly I get this urge to drink water/tea or something and then after some time to go to loo. Then in the loo I get some thoughts(who doesn’t?), I get super excited, I wash my hands, open the door, I look in the mirror and then from nowhere something comes up in mind like do I need a haircut? This T-shirt looks cool and as soon as I come out. Damn! my writing thought flows away.
There are many more distractions to talk about from TV, my work sometimes and blah! blah! But these distractions have taught me a lesson too.The lesson of understanding. More I understand them, more I get to know myself, more I get to overcome them.
What are yours?
Life is uncertain and that is why it is awesome. No matter how hard you plan, it will always amaze you with its twist and turns. In recent years, April was kind of the most boring and hectic month because of the start of new financial year. You know how companies change too many policies in April projecting that it benefits the employees, however the truth is totally opposite. So here I was in March not making any plans in April because I was over prepared for the changes to happen by my company which will surely change my whole plan of Holidays. On April 1, I was waiting for e-mail from HR department thinking inside that there is a reason it is called an April Fool’s day. Day passed and I didn’t receive the so-called plan-destroying-email. Life is uncertain, I told you that. This was the first April which was so silent from the side of HR department. My family knew that I also don’t make plans in April.
I was making conversations with one of my favourite cousin who came to meet me at my home after a very long time. In morning, we discussed about all the trouble we had to make to buy our first woofer speaker. How we arranged the cassettes of popular songs. In evening, we made a short trip towards Kasauli hills and talked all night about girls,music, Facebook life and favourite porn star.
I was sitting in the car watching at green fields of Punjab thinking how awesomely different is the lifestyle of villagers and how we urbanists are so consumer-driven people. My family planned a trip to visit almost every relative we have in Punjab. I have not visited any of my relatives from last 5 years. Every home we went, the relatives were thinking that we are here to invite them to my marriage. Yes, in India you must get marry when you turn 25 otherwise you become the topic of discussion. Sadly for them and happily for me, we were there to invite them to the retirement function of one of our close relative.
High Bass Speakers were playing the Punjabi tracks in front of 35,000 people, where many of them dancing on the tunes, some were observing, some were smiling, some were glancing at girls, some were finding the best seat to sit on and everyone else was screaming. I was in the middle of one of the most wonderful cricket stadium of our region watching the nail-biting match of Kings XI Punjab and Pune Warriors India.
Now if you observe it correctly, above mentioned days were all Sundays, the unplanned Sundays where everything happened so quickly. Life is like this, it gives you surprises when it is required not when you want. So all you crazy people who are just working, working and working; don’t be I-Am-Not-Interested to Count-Me-In guy. For me, April is not yet over and I have two big events to join in too.
Surrender to Uncertainty, Surrender to Life!